I can’t stop my online affair?
Posted by admin | Filed under Marriage Divorce
I have been having an online affair for several months. It’s a very emotional affair. Although, the guy on the other end is married, and we both know nothing serious will ever come of our online friendship we still discuss a lot of personal stuff. Be it, sexual, emotional, or just life stuff. A few weeks ago my boyfriend found out about the affair. Yes, I do consider it an affair. We talked a lot, and I explained to him why I felt like I needed this other man in my life, and he understands that there are a lot of things he should be doing differently. The biggest being, he needs to get a divorce. He’s been separated from his ex for nearly 8 years, we’ve been together for 5 years. Anyways, our relationship is definitely different now, as he doesn’t trust me. And feels like I’m constantly emailing this guy back and forth at work. I do really love my boyfriend and do not want to leave him, but I just cannot bring myself to stop talking to the other guy…
June 8th, 2008 at 9:33 am
Sure you can, unplug your computer or just get rid of it.
June 10th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
It doesn’t sound like your boyfriend really wants to be with you anyways, you’ve been together 5 years and he’s still not divorced? You have to pick one man though, you can’t have both.
June 12th, 2008 at 4:12 am
It’s called self control, and you can do it if you really want to. Just stop! It’s not that hard! I hope your boyfriend finds out and finds someone with class.
June 14th, 2008 at 6:03 am
ummm hello why is he still married…? he has no room to talk.. if you love him then you have to let this other guy go…. that means now…. and make him get that devorce what is he waiting on…?
June 14th, 2008 at 6:24 am
What do you WANT to do? You’ve created this situation. How would feel if your boyfriend was having this type of online affair as you’ve called it? Would you still trust him? What would ask him to do regarding it? I think you need to respect what you have offline because that’s physical reality while this online relationship is not going to move into anything meaingful for your or his over satisfaction. Time to let the online dude go…focus on what’s really important!
June 15th, 2008 at 7:22 am
I wouldn’t trust either of you. Both of you are committing adultery, as he is NOT divorced, just seperated. He can’t play the field and you shouldn’t put yourself in the mix as it will affect his final divorce.
June 16th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
YOUR RIGHT ITS AN AFFAIR AND IF HE IS MARRIED HE IS COMMITTING ADULTERY AND SO ARE U UNPLUG OR GO FIND SOMETHING ELES TO DO WITH YOU TIME TRY AKING IT UP TO YOUR BOY FRIEND SORRY JUST ISNT ENOUGHT
June 18th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
I think we’ve all done our share of flirting and heavy breathing online sis. And you can get addicted to it. I think you’re lettung it bother you too much. You can call it n affair but there’s no physical cheating going on………..
June 19th, 2008 at 11:16 am
just change over to me,oops,i mean another guy
June 21st, 2008 at 10:49 pm
You can’t always trust people who are having affairs. They can have the sweetest spouse in the world but still tell you that it’s such an awful relationship.
Ditch him and quit hooking up with married guys online and off.
June 25th, 2008 at 1:16 am
If you love him you would of stopped already. You say nothing serious but it is, if you can’t stop yourself from talking to him. If I found out you were still talking to him I would dump your ***. Woman like you make woman like me look bad. Your lucky your boyfriend did’nt tear into you. I know I would of. It sound like you care more about this other guy then your own man who is BY THE WAY taking **** from you.
June 25th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Just stop!! If you want it to work out with your boyfriend you have only one way of doing it and that is stop this online affair. You can do it if you want.
June 27th, 2008 at 12:02 am
Tell you what to do??? Is it that difficult? If you truly care about your boyfriend leave this other man alone. Especially since he is married. What do you think his wife would think? Do you not care about anyone but yourself? Ofcourse I don’t know why you would stay with someone for five years when he is married to another woman. What’s wrong with you? There is a lot of single men out there. Leave the married one’s alone before you get your as$ kicked by some mans wife.
June 27th, 2008 at 6:56 am
get rid of your computer and that will end it.
you unfortunately can not have your cake and eat it too because your boyfriend will get sick of it and leave.
June 30th, 2008 at 1:12 am
Ever stop to think that the conversations you are having with the man behind the computer are conversations you should be having withyour boyfriend? And that you wouldn’t need this internet guy if you actually took the time to open up to the man you say you love?
It’s not necessarily healthy to be in a relationship with a man who isn’t divorced, but you are only making things worse for yourself by adding this internet connection. Where, exactly, is your self esteem in all of this??? Two men in your life who can’t give you their whole heart? C’mon…
There are a lot of things BOTH of you should be doing differently…you can’t expect your boyfriend to do all the compromising. Turning to the internet affair puts you on his same level…if he is making changes, then you can too, and that means saying goodbye to mr. internet.
If you have to tell him it is interfering with your productivity at work (which it is) and that you need to work on the real relationship that is in your life, and not live in a fantasy world…
internet relationships are the worst kind…because the person on the other side of the screen can say anything and make you feel on top of the world…but that isn’t reality…reality is the man you go home to, the one you can see touch smell and hear…get your head out of the clouds and it will be easier for you to get back to what’s real important.
June 30th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
Since your online guy is married that would be enough to turn me off him. I would instantly feel sorry for his wife that she’s married to such a liar.
July 2nd, 2008 at 7:29 am
lets see…..reality…or fantasy???? ummmmm….duh!!!!!!
July 5th, 2008 at 6:15 am
sounds to me like you are dependent on both of these guys. How about you make a decision to live your life the way you want to and then stick with it. It is call free choice and we all have it.
July 8th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
You are in a heap of trouble so good luck
July 9th, 2008 at 6:02 am
First of all, how do you have an online affair anyway. My marriage is becoming boreing and he is no longer interested. I’m sorry if this is not the answer your seeking but I need an online friend myself.
July 11th, 2008 at 7:58 am
Keep both guys since you aren’t married.
July 14th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
You are very smart in identifying that there is something lacking in your relationship…total commitment. Your boyfriend has refused to make the ultimate commitment to you by divorcing his wife. In a way this has placed you second. I think…because of personal experience….you enjoy this relationship with the other man because you gain some sense of relationship control , I don’t mean that in any insulting way at all…I used to do the same thing by only dating married men…I could walk away anytime and not get hurt. You know you are wanted but this gives YOU the opportunity to make them beg for your attention. You need someone who will be completely committed to YOU. You are getting the shaft and are going feel like, you have been on an empty pursuit for a long time if you don’t start searching for the right thing.
July 17th, 2008 at 10:58 pm
Oh god another silly on line affair. This has to be your first on line fling? Once you have one you understand, online is for online. Don’t get too wrapped up in it. the boyfriend…… 8 yrs and he’s still not divorced? Married man online and a married man offline. Not sure if these two guys are winners, or if it’s you that’s the winner? I say the three of you should keep in very close touch so what ever it is you have doesn’t spread. Lord knows we don’t need the three of you running loose messing up anymore lives. Good Luck
July 19th, 2008 at 10:57 pm
Leave your married boyfriend and the online married man alone. Do you see the pattern? Stop messing with married men.
July 21st, 2008 at 12:10 am
Man have some self control. And it isn’t that you can’t stop.. it ‘s you choose not too. And if you love your boyfriend then act like it. Talk is cheap.
July 24th, 2008 at 7:14 am
don’t do anything
July 27th, 2008 at 2:13 am
Don’t stop until the divorce is final. He has no right to be up- set with you, your boyfriend has a wife. You’ve been with him 5 years and he has yet decided that your good enough for him to get a divorce. You should move on aside from the fact that your having an on line affair.
July 28th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
This is what my ex boyfriend did to me. I was ready to marry him after 3 years then he started Talking to some stupid person on the other end of a computer. Now i cant trust any man with a computer. Good Fucken job and thanks for ruining it for the rest of us. Throw out your damn computer and delete your email address. wow that was hard.
July 31st, 2008 at 9:31 am
We all need a good Friend. You speak to your boy Friend and convince him that this on line affair is not going to affect your relationship and that you like him and want to be with him the way he is. His reaction is more of insecurity and you should help him to overcome this. Once he is convinced that he is not going to loose you he will start enjoying your other affair. Never compare your boy Friend with others and respect his individuality. You may try involving your boyfriend in your conversation with this on line Friend. The idea is to convince your boy Friend that this on line friendship is going to bring you closer and strengthen your relationship rather prove a threat to it. All the best.