my bf chats with this girl he met online thru CGList?
Posted by admin | Filed under Singles Dating
Here’s m,y situation – I am with my bf for 3 and half yrs now and have known him for 5yrs.
We had rough patches the last three years but always got back . Some of the times we’ve had a fight wud have been coz of another girl and coz he got caught chatting, phoning, emailing or meeting someone he randomly he met in a club or online.
With that said, he recently found a girl on craigslist (as per him in strictly platonic listings) coz he says he wanted someone to talk to. Someone who could tell him the girl’s perspective. It has been going on for months now but now we have no problems..it’s been good but he still chats with her everyday. And last week when I actually saw his chat window pop up he threw some lies at me like school friend then a facebook find and eventually told me the above story. He says she’s just a friend he talks to and said sorry again adn tht he wouldn’t do it again. But i started to think finding a girl online for some reason or the other is almost his habit he cnanot break free from.
Even if its just a friend, I feel bad and feel like he breaks my trust repeatedly doing this stuff, lying and hiding. When I asked him, he says tht I’d never understand the concept of finding a friend online so he lies and hides.
what I wnat to know is if I am overthinking or if this is common ?
He talks about moving in with him and marrying and stuff and these things surface and I am soo confused. I just don’t get it. Please if any of could suggest or explain what could possibly go on in a man’s head, I will sincerely appreciate it.
free emailing
August 10th, 2008 at 7:14 am
idk girl he can be doing alot of things that you dont know of
August 13th, 2008 at 2:07 am
I too have the same problem and questions. He claims he loves me, swears that he never has and never would cheat on me. And yet he is constantly emailing, texting or calling female friends. Then he joins these chat things and uses the same excuse, that he is looking for female input on our problems. Its gotten so I don’t know what to think sometimes. If he wants a female input, shouldn’t it be mine? Since I am the female involved in the relationship? I have done some reading and researching and I am finding that this is fairly common problem. It doesn’t make me feel much better to find out that many men do this, it just is what it is.
Fighting, crying, pleading, demanding, none of these things will get him to stop. Its like a compulsion. They can’t stop themselves from doing it. In my case I believe that he does it to stroke his ego. That he is happy as long as he feels there are other options out there. Its whether he acts on it that is the real issue.
In my experience I have learned that you either have to trust him or move on. If he is going to cheat you can’t stop him by worrying about it or fighting over it. You can invade his privacy and get information, possibly assuming the wrong thing and make the situation worse, but at what cost?
You could drive him and yourself crazy with the whole thing, and in the end it won’t make any difference.
So you have to choose whether you trust him and go from there. If you do. Then tell him, that you don’t like it, but you understand he has an addiction, and that you trust him, and trust that he won’t do anything to hurt you.