I caught my wife in an online myspace affair, with late night phone calls at (1 to 5am), *** emails and pics.
Posted by admin | Filed under Marriage Divorce
She was emailing him pictures while the kids and I were at church. She claimed she was to sick to go but was feeling good enough to chat and send pics to him. I confronted her and asked her to end the online relationship. She said she would. A week later I found she had been texting him on the 4th of July while I was playing with the kids. I confronted her again asked her to remove him from her IM list. I found out she is still texting and emailing him a month later although not *** rated. She has started to come to bed at 3-5 am again. She is unwilling to go to marriage counseling. When I got married I was trying to marry a partner not a child that I would have to discipline. In general she is a good wife but can be high spirited and difficult to deal with. We have a good relationship but this is starting to take its toll. What do I do next? Should I cut the internet at the house and disconnect her mobile? Or just overlook it and hope it all goes away?
November 28th, 2008 at 6:00 am
Wake up and smell the coffee dude! Save a shread of dignity and file for divorce ASAP before this how gives you a STD!
November 30th, 2008 at 11:49 am
yeah, that happens…..
December 1st, 2008 at 6:58 pm
If she is truley a good wife, give her another chance minus the internet. If she makes contact without the internet tell her it’s you or him.
December 2nd, 2008 at 9:28 am
that’s not a Lil bit skanky that’s a whole Lotta skanky
December 5th, 2008 at 9:54 am
Well problem with disconnecting the internet and mobile, she will find other means to contact the guy. What you can do is ask her one more time that she end the relationship and stand by her while she contacts the guy to tell him that she is ending it. Also watch while she deletes all his contact information. You also may want to ask her what is lacking in your marriage to prompt her to want to have a relationship with someone else. Because there may be something lacking that she doesn’t not know how to approach you about it. Let the conversation be set in a peaceful manner and away from the kids.
December 8th, 2008 at 7:23 pm
back off and let it run its course. don’t overreact. it’ll make things worse. if you don’t like it, then leave. don’t do the whole passive-agressive thing. she’ll resent you. find out what it is that she is missing in your relationship. that’s your assignment.
December 11th, 2008 at 11:33 pm
your relationship obviously isn’t that good if she is seeking out another man! if she doesn’t want to work on the relationship you may want to think about going to counseling on your own atleast. maybe that will help you to see if the marriage is worth holding onto. good luck.
December 13th, 2008 at 5:36 am
I had the same problem!! I know I didn’t wnat to do it but I had to….I drew a line. I told him my expectations of our relationship and told him to choose what relationship he wanted. He choose ours and eventaully we went to some counseling and things got a lot better. We still have internet although he did delete his myspace and changed his email accounts. Good Luck!!
December 15th, 2008 at 11:26 pm
ahhh my wife does that all the time. i kind of like it
December 19th, 2008 at 1:27 am
sounds like the writing might be on the wall there. are you sure that online is the only place that this affair is going on? be on the lookout for any weird credit card debits, out of town trips, or hotel receipts. you have asked her to end this affair, and she has not. she knows that you know, and refuses to stop communicating with this guy. she is unwilling to go to marriage counseling. it sounds like you are the only one making any sacrifices here, and she is having all of the fun. i would tell her that if she doesn’t stop this, than you will pursue a seperation. it will either scare her into being a good wife, or she won’t care and that will be her out. either way, it’s better than the eggshells that you are walking on now. it’s your move…
December 19th, 2008 at 2:28 am
Neither is the appropriate answer.
If she refuses to terminate the relationship, you probably have grounds for divorce (check your state’s laws). Internet affairs ARE cheating. You can not ground her from using the internet or a phone and you can not overlook it because it will not go away.
There is certainly something deeper going on in the marriage that you need to address and if you all do not want to address it, the only solution is to end the marriage.
December 21st, 2008 at 6:53 am
You have one more option, you kick her a** out of the house.
You have bent over to many times, do you not see that she does not respect or love you. If she wants to continue her present life style let her, you just do not have to support it. File for divorce and let you kids see a happy dad, it will have a positive effect on them, instead of what they are seeing now. Good luck.
December 23rd, 2008 at 11:21 am
Ask her what is lacking in your marriage to prompt her to want to have a relationship with someone else.
Talk about this!
Don’t disconnect the Internet – please – she’ll find other ways to contact him.
December 25th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
yeah that darn myspace will do that to everyone once in there life she will get over it and start playing again with u!
December 28th, 2008 at 7:23 am
It sounds like there are some serious intimacy issues in your marriage.
She is obviously a liar who is having an emotional affair right before your eyes. To exclude her family by not going to family outings in order to carry on her intimacy with another, she is making it loud and clear where her priorities are placed.
If she is unwilling to attend counseling, you need to determine if this selfish woman is worth it….
Good luck.
December 30th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
I’m curious, if you want to email me. Does she share your religious beliefs?
To answer your question, you’re thinking about it all wrong. You can’t win by force. What good does it do to keep them apart if she doesn’t want it? You won’t feel loved and she’ll be too busy resenting you to feel any love for you. In other words, cutting off the Internet etc. will only make things worse.
second, you don’t have a good relationship so get that out of your head.
What I would do at this point is start being smarter than her. You need to gather some Intel. Pretend like you believe her when she says she’s stopped and try to let it drop off your radar for a while so that she gets careless and see what you can learn to help you understand what’s going on psychologically. Obviously her emotional needs aren’t being met in your relationship. This sort of thing would fill a need for adventure / insecurity for a start and may also fill a need for Independence and rebellion.
In any case you need to stop looking at controlling the behaviour and start trying to figure out what she’s really doing and why.
Good luck
December 30th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
Well in my opinion if she was a “Good Wife” she wouldn’t be having this online affair in the first place. She may be a good mother to your children but defiantly not a good wife. After confronting her the first time she should have stopped but it didn’t, she continued after you confronted her the second time and do you really think she’s going to stop after the 3rd time. I’ve always believe in giving a second chance to someone and in your case she’s your wife and you may feel like you need to keep giving her chances but this is not a good situation to keep giving chances; she’s only going to continue doing what she’s doing because she knows you’ll keep forgiving her. I know you must love her very much but I think you need to let her know if she continues this then you’ll have to leave her.
I think EVERYONE deserves a great spouse, I wish you all the luck…
December 31st, 2008 at 1:53 am
Yup. Happend to me also. Except she was meeting her on line friends. Why? Bottom line is she is selfish. She is more bummed out over what she is missing and does not have than looking at where she is and what is good in her life. Early on we struggled finacially. I have always been self employed and at times I have not made any money. Other times I make in the six figures. She has worked most of our married life and resents that. She feels that she did not spend enough time with our two girls because she had to work. She wanted to be a kept woman. On the other hand she would call me at my office and tell me that after work she needed to go to te spa, run erronds, get a message, whatever and could I stop doing what I was doing and go pick up the girls. This was all the time. It was as though whatever I was doing was less important, and I should take care of the girls because she was too busy. She wanted to go on trips without them because she would say we needed the time alone. I would tell her at some point she would regret not spending time with the girls. She acted like I was full of it. Now they are young ladies, one is out of the house and I am being blamed for her not spending time with them because she had to work.
She started to meet guys on line because they made her feel good. Someone besides me found her attractive. She likes the exctment of doing something that she could get in trouble for. She feels that because I have struggled with money all these years she deserves anything she wants. I own a major Real Estate franchise office and business is really bad right now. Her job pays nearly $100,000 and she resent the fact that she has to work. She has been all over the world with the girls which I paid for BTW and I stayed at home to make sure I could pay for her trips and other things. One time She bought a dimond ring on one of her trips worth about $10,000 because she always wanted one and I would never buy it for her. . . Poor thing, she sounds really abused and neglected doesn’t she? She lied about the affairs but I caught her by using a product called E-Blaster. It is a key logging program. Catching them does not solve the problem. They only have so much integrety. Mine is spoiled. She is right, I don’t make enough money…but who does? Who does get to spend enough time with their children? She had oppertunity but considered time with the kids a task that she was too busy in her own life worring about how much she was missing out on. She can’t enjoy this moment. Things will be better once this or that happens. Once she has enough money that she doesn’t have to work, life will be better. As for me I deserve to be treated poorly and dismised because I am the reason she has to work.
So there you go. 28 years of marriage, 32 years together. Same crap. Oh…and another thing. It is much easier for a woman to get laid from the internet than it is for a man. FYI. Point is you have some issues to resolve. You may find your self alone with the kids. When she loses her family she will then ….maybe she will be sorry. I come here my self for the therapy.
January 1st, 2009 at 8:58 am
stop being such a sod and start looking for mistresses to help you ease off that tension.
January 4th, 2009 at 6:58 am
for a men u need to put that ***** in her place pimp smack her lol dont do it but just do the same thing make her jealous