Monstrous sister-in-law?
Posted by admin | Filed under Family
My husband’s sister is a nasty, miserable c**t. Most recently we were all visiting my husband’s parents’ house in late August, and we ended up cutting our visit short because of her (and it is a 2-day drive for us!) She completely ruined my husband’s birthday by screaming at us because we helped my father-in-law set up his laptop computer and improved their internet reception and installed antivirus software. It doesn’t take much talent to do these things, but she said that because we do not have engineering or computer science degrees that we were incapable of doing it correctly. Then she took back my husband’s birthday gift (how tacky). Last summer she screamed at us (again at in-law’s house) for making too much noise at 8 AM because we were getting ready to take our dog for a walk and we woke up her and her husband (who she is now divorcing). Also during her hissy fit she accused me and my husband of faking compassion for her and basically called us insincere and phony. I have always tried to be nice to her, but she doesn;t make it easy. This b***ch had been calling and emailing me asking for dating advice because she found some new guy to date. Since she’s still married I felt awkward about it, but gave her honest and sincere advice. This spring she asked me to help her with immigration and other job-related issues since she is not a US citizen and is here on a work visa and her company was going to lay her off. I spent HOURS on the phone with immigration trying to get info and help her out. She also calls my husband to help her with work projects… so you can see we are sooooooo phony to her! After her latest blow up a few weeks ago, she calls last night crying wanting personal advice and dumping all her problems on my husband and NEVER EVEN APOLOGIZED for her conduct on his birthday!!! I refused to speak to her. She does this all the time, treats people like crap then expects them to just magically want to help her out. And she also tries to make up for things by buying people expensive crap that she can’t even afford!!! Sorry for the rant…. but we will have to see this vicious shrew in November and I told my husband that I will be polite to her for HIS sake and to avoid creating tension for everyone else, but that I wanted nothing to do with her otherwise Meanwhile my mother-in-law is so stupid…. she just makes excuses for her daughter and says that we have to be nice to her because she has so much stress in her life. ***** that! She’s not the only one in the world with problems…. Does anyone else have in-laws that they absolutely despise???? How do you deal with them during family gatherings? I don’t want to be a miserable c**t like her, but she needs to know that there is a price to pay for her actions.
November 13th, 2008 at 7:11 pm
just tell here
November 14th, 2008 at 7:40 am
from now on, when she calls crying and needing advice, tell her that you can’t help her and suggest several names of professionals that might be able to. You are hindering her by helping her out all along. It should have been her making those calls to immigration for her own protection not you. Your not being paid to do it and it doesn’t benefit you, only her. Just flat out tell her that you have too many other things that are going on right now and can’t devote the time that she needs you to give. After a while of not helping her, she will start to get the message. At family gatherings, only talk to her if you absolutely have to, otherwise, leave the room and find something else to do.
November 16th, 2008 at 5:00 am
I can so relate to you here. My husband has children from a previous marriage that try to interfere with our new life all the time. Did I mention that these kids are grown and have children families of their own, but are determined to destroy our relationship. I have tried over the past five years to earn their respect. I go out of my way to accommodate them but I am fed up too. I haven’t figured out yet how to avoid family either. Good luck and if you come up with something let me know.
November 18th, 2008 at 1:55 am
I, personally, won’t go to my in-laws anymore because of a mean stepfather-in-law. If this isn’t an option, you may consider getting a hotel room while you are there instead of staying at the house. This way, when it gets a bit too heated you have a safe haven to retreat to. This also means that if you aren’t in the mood or can’t deal with her, you can stay at the hotel while your husband gets in his family time. It sounds like to me like she may have a mood or personality disorder and quite honestly can have these rants and not even remember-or her memory is skewed to the point that she doesn’t remember going off to the point that she has. Obviously, if she is going through a divorce and has been laid-off from work-I have to agree with the other post. You need to direct her to a professional, not only for your sake but also so she can be properly diagnosed (but I definitely wouldn’t tell her she has a problem-that will only make matters worse).
November 19th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
I DO !!
I understand your anger and sympathize with the pain you must also feel. I have a very similar situation, even down to the mother-in-law.
My husband and I stand together with how we feel and react to his family, but he still keeps trying. We just went to his cousin’s wedding and his own sister did not talk to us,our children, and went to great lengths to make sure none of us sat together. She has been living for over 6 years with my in-laws. She is 36 years old, divorced, 2 kids. She has a paying job,support $ from ex, but she continues to mooch of her parents. My mother-in-law does all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and does the homework with the kids. My sister-in-law always complains how hard it is been a single parent but she’s had a built in nanny, tutor, maid for sooo long.We all laugh when she gets on her poor me kick. The whole situation has effected the entire family. My father-in-law has had an affair and although everyone in the family knows, no one wants to talk about it and solve it.With all the issues my sister-in-law is still so selfish and so assorbed with herself she has convinced my mother-in-law if she has to move out she’ll have to live in the ghetto. Besides being insulting there is no ghetto anywhere near where we live. She has made a mess of the family and worse my in-laws accept it. They are cowards and my sister-in-law is a _______!
(you can fill in the blank)
I guess my point is you are really not alone. I hope you have the support of your husband and your family.
Thank you for letting me vent a bit!